Drumroll, please...

Glucose test results are back and they came back...

N E G A T I V E ! ! ! !

No gestational diabetes for me! Whew!! What a relief!!

The Big Show...Three-hour Glucose Test

Well, we are waiting on the results. I did took my three-hour glucose tolerance test yesterday. If I fail this test, then I have gestational diabetes.

I had to do a three-day diet which I really was freaking out about. Once I calmed down and pulled my head out of my butt, I realized that I just had to eat an extra 15 grams of carbs per day. Has anyone seen my diet? All I eat are carbs! (hmmm, maybe this is why I have already gained 35 lbs)! You throw the word "diet" in there and I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off! Anyways, I happily completed this carb "diet" with flying colors.

I then had to fast for 8 hours before the test. This was not initially too hard since I ate dinner and then went to bed. As soon as we got up the next morning, I headed to the hospital to take the test. However, I did not get to the hospital as quickly as I would have liked because Michael was dragging his feet getting ready for work. Did he not understand that I was about to become the exorcist woman in few hours due to my lack of food??!?! I was handling the no food for 8 hours, but now I was going to have to sit around for another 3 with no food intake! This was no joke!

Once I got to the hospital, the took some blood and then gave me the larger nasty ass

non-carbonated soda stuff to drink (this time it was orange flavored) within five minutes. They also informed me that if I puked, I would have to start all over again. What? Are you kidding me?!?! There was no way that I was going to puke! I would swallow my vomit just so I wouldn't have to do this all over again! Luckily, I was allowed to drink water during this time period. Let me tell you, I think I drank 10 gallons of water during these three hours. Anytime I would start to taste that drink coming back up, I would chug some water. (Note: I sat very close to the bathroom and clock!)

After I completed the nasty ass drink, I notified the lab peeps. I then had to sit in the lab area, yes, that's right, I was also not allowed to leave the lab area for this entire three hours. They lab peeps would then draw my blood every hour on the hour for three hours. The needle pricks don't bother me too much since I'm used to them from donating blood all of the time. The sitting around actually wasn't too bad either. The first hour was kind of rough because I really did think I was going to vomit from that drink and the lab area was not that busy yet.

For those of you that really know me, you know that one of my favorite pastimes is people watching. Let me tell you, that if you are a people watcher, you need to go to a military hospital!! My last two hours of this test flew by due to all of the activity in the hospital and I was only in the lab/pharmacy area! First off, I knew I was in a military hospital due to all of the children! In my three hours of sitting around, I counted 10 newborn babies that were all two weeks old (Seeing all of those tiny little newborns did get me all excited about meeting Joey in a few months!). Then there were TONS of toddlers and young children running around.

Then there was a 12 year old boy that was taken back to the "pricking" room and was literally screaming...this lasted for 1 hour and 15 minutes! Everyone in the waiting rooms could hear him. It was nuts. I got called back to the "pricking" room during his rant and he wasn't even getting poked! He would just scream looking at the needle. I felt really bad for this boy. Turns out, that the boy was autistic and the lab techs and grandma were having to explain to him what was going on. That made a little more sense why a 12-year old boy was reacting like that for so long to a needle.

The best story from this visit was actually two little five-year old girls that were very active and jovial in the waiting room. As soon as the lab tech opened the door and called their names, the girls both started screaming and crying! They knew that they were about to get some shots! The mother looked at one of the little girls and stated "Don't worry, you're safe!". As soon the mom said that to the one little girl, she shut right up and was all happy again! It was so funny. The little girl that did get the shot was crying and upset in the back (we could hear her out in the waiting room), but then was fine once she walked out. When they opened the door to let her out of the "pricking" room, she loudly and happily exclaimed "Buh-bye!". Priceless.

So, back to my test, I've completed it and now we're just waiting on the results. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that it comes back negative and I am gestational diabetes free!

Pain in My Butt!

I've been having this pain in my right butt cheek this past week. Of course, this is a symptom of pregnancy. This pain comes and goes. I first start experiencing it when I was sitting

Indian-style in Joey's room. All of a sudden, I would try to move and I would have this excruciating pain in my buttock! This pain almost brought me to tears! When Michael got home, I asked him to massage my butt! Hahaha, you can imagine the response I got from this! However, Michael really enjoyed this job and informed me that he wanted to be super helpful during this pregnancy and would help me work out this kink in my butt anytime I needed him to. He's such a guy!

I asked the doc about it this week and she told me that this is probably due to weight gain. She also gave me some exercises to do to help work the "kinks" out. The pain is only in my butt cheek and, luckily, has not run it's way into my leg or back...yet. Hopefully, it stays put in the buttock or just goes away! I know kids can be a pain in the butt, sometimes, but isn't Joey being a little bit of an overachiever?

Is that a freaking hand??

So do you remember me telling you that story about my OB orientation back in September? You know the one I'm talking about...the one where the doctor was telling all of us newly pregnant peeps that we are to go to the military base hospital, even if we are in active labor. The only time we are allowed to go to a hospital that is closer is if the baby's hand is hanging out of your vagina???

Well, yesterday, I was walking around Bed Bath and Beyond, when I felt like something was down there. I then felt a severe tightening in my pelvis area. This only lasted 10-15 seconds, but freaked me the heck out! Was the baby's hand really hanging out of my vagina?? Oh no!! Holy crap, it is way too early! What should I do?? Is little Joey trying to show his home decor side by coming out way too early in the Bed Bath and Beyond??!?!

Luckily, I read other pregnant peep's blogs and lots of books, and oh yeah, peruse the Internet constantly, and remembered these little things called Braxton-Hicks Contractions. This must be what those fake contractions are! Holy crap, I'm going to experience these things for the next 12+ weeks? Geesh! I know it's my body's way of just getting prepared for the grand finale, but wow, that was kind of scary...especially since I thought Joey's hand was really hanging out of my vagina! He was just trying to give me a high five and say "what up mom!" (I am sick...I know!)

What a bad doctor's appointment...

(This is not a photo of my belly...I found this on Google Images.)

We had our 28-week doctor's appointment this past Thursday. Let's just say that I was not that thrilled or elated when we left this one. Let's start with good news first! Everything with Joey seems to be going great! He is kicking, punching, somersaulting, flipping, and booty slinging very forcefully now! Michael and I have been keeping an eye on my stomach this week because I was sure that we could actually see it moving! Sure enough, we have seen my belly move a few times this week. I'm not going to lie, I really thought this movement would freak me the heck out, but it's actually kind of neat, and every time Joey gets on a moving "kick", I stop what I'm doing and stare at my belly so I can sneak a peek at this craziness! (If I ever see Joey's actual foot or hand coming out of my belly like in the above pic, I may really vomit!)

Joey's heart rate was 140 bpm this week which is very good! My belly/uterus also measured at 28 cm=28 weeks, so we're right on schedule!



Okay, now on to the rest of the appointment. First off, the midwife that we have had this whole time has been taken away from us! This was very upsetting for me because I really had become comfortable with our midwife. She was somewhat scatterbrained, but I am okay with that because I am scatterbrained! Her and I just worked together...like peanut butter and chocolate...mmmm, that sounds delicious, oh sorry, back to this post. Let me give you some background on this story...

Each pregnant lady is put into colored teams consisting of a doctor, midwife, nurse practitioner, and nurse. During your nine (ten) months of pregnancy care, you are supposed to see all of these people at least once, so that way, if you go into labor and you will know at least one person that may be delivering your baby! (we all know from watching "Grey's Anatomy" that doctors do have outside lives and are not available 24/7, so it is good that the hospital has this set up). Judging from my reaction of them switching me to my nurse practitioner from my midwife at week 28, I can't even imagine what it would have been like if they did the ol' switcharoo in the delivery room!

This nurse practitioner is a lot different than my midwife. First off, the midwife is a civilian, whereas my NP is a Major in the Air Force. Going from my history of working in a military environment, there is definitely a difference in the way a military person talks to a civilian versus how a civilian talks to another civilian. The NP wasn't mean, like I originally was whining about to everyone after the appointment, she was just more firm and matter-of-fact. My civilian midwife spoke to me a little softer and did sugar coat things a little more, it seems.





So, during this appointment, I learned that I am fat. No, not "you're just pregnant", but you are fat and have gained way too much weight already. I have already gained 35 lbs!! *Gasp* The NP was not happy about this, nor was I. She then proceeded to ask me questions about what is proper weight gain, how much is a serving size, what does a serving size visually look like. Now, as a woman who has always had weight issues, this conversation seriously hurt my feelings. However, I was not about to cry in front of this woman. I was pretty upset all day about this news. But, she's right. I know I have been eating like a cow. Even though I know that I should still eat a normal, healthy diet, I listened to everyone making the comments "you're eating for two", "you're pregnant, it's okay". This is no one's fault, but my own. I know that I have no self control when it comes to food. That is why I was overweight for most of my life. This NP getting on me about my weight gain was not to be meant to bully or pick on me, but to help the health of my child. I have known this whole pregnancy that I am not eating like I really should be eating. I have been overindulging A LOT and I finally got called out on it. So, for the remainder of the pregnancy I am going to make a conscience effort with my food intake. I will ignore everyone that tells me "you're eating for two". I quit drinking alcohol cold turkey for my future baby, so I need to quit my bad eating for him too.

Next, onto my glucose test results. I failed!! I only failed by 3 points, but I still failed. This does not mean that I have gestational diabetes...I just now have to take the 3-hour glucose test. I have to eat a special diet for 3 days (the only thing special about this diet is that I have eat a few more carbs than normal during my day). Then I have to fast for 8 hours before my test and then actually go take the test. Only 15%-23% of pregnant ladies fail the first test and have to take the 3-hour test and only 1/3 of those actually have gestational diabetes. I'm not worried about the diabetes yet, but I was not happy to hear that I actually have to the 3-hour test.

Then, as you know from one of my previous posts, I have low iron so I have been taking iron supplements for about 6 weeks. Well, my iron is still low! DAMNIT!! However, the NP pointed out that I should be taking one iron pill twice a day. I've been lucky enough to remember to take the one a day that I have been taking! After we left this appointment, Michael made me go out and buy one of those pill box reminders. The box even has a side for AM pills and PM pills. I must admit that this box is actually very helpful in reminding me...or busting me, whatever the case may be, to take my pills.

Needless to say, this was not my best doctor's appointment, but our child is healthy (as far as we know), alive, kicking, heart beating, and growing. For this news, I am grateful. Even though I was pretty upset for the past couple of days with this NP for the way she delivered all of this news to me or how she talked down to me, maybe I needed that kick in the ass to get my butt in gear. I don't like to sugarcoat things, so why in the world would I think that a medical professional sugarcoating stuff for me would do me any good??

Diapers, sugar drinks, and baby belly, oh my!

I know that the east coast has been hammered by snow!! The east coast must be where all of our snow is because we don't have much up here in Alaska! With the lack of snow and very "warm" temps, I have had to put up my cross country skis for the time being. I have been still been trying to ski twice a week, but the last time I went with my friend, we realized that the trails were very slick and hard if you fell! (I didn't fall for the record, but my friend did so she told me how hard it was!) We have decided that no more skiing for us until we have more snow! I personally don't want to take the chance of falling on my belly on hard compacted icy snow! That does not sound like a good idea! I have been trying to walk or take the dogs to the dog park to get my daily exercise in though.


I may have to go buy some adult diapers...for myself. I now have no control over my bladder or pee stopper. Everytime I laugh, sneeze, or cough I am now dribbling a little bit. I used to make fun of one of my best friends for tinkling a little bit on herself when she laughed...kharma's a bitch, isn't it??? When this first happened, I thought it was a one time thing...I now know this is my new reality, at least for the next few months. *sigh*

I did my glucose test this past Thursday. This was the first test I take towards seeing if I have gestational diabetes. I was allowed to eat prior to this test, but I wanted to make sure that I didn't screw anything up, so I just went in as soon as I woke up in the morning. I drank this nasty ass lemon-lime uncarbonated soda like stuff. Then I sat there for an hour and at the end of the hour, they drew some blood. I will have to wait until this Thursday (our 28 week doctor's appointment) to find out the results. If I failed this first test, then I will have to take a three-hour test where I will have to fast for 12 hours and then have blood drawn every hour for three hours! I really hope I don't fail because that crap I had to drink made me want to vomit!! IF I have to take the three-hour test, and I fail that one too, then I have gestational diabetes. Hopefully, we get great results back from last week's test and we don't even have to worry about the second test or the diabetes! :)

Okay, and now on to the 27 week belly photos!!! :)

Here's my one side...

and the other!

Burn, Baby, Burn!

I have now hit the stage of pregnancy where I am experiencing severe heartburn and indigestion! Boo to this!! Several people told me that this day would come, and I really was hoping that this was a symptom that I would miss. (I'm not sure why I thought I would miss this symptom, since I have had every other symptom in the damn book!) I've only had heartburn a few times in my life, so that's why I thought I may not get it. The indigestion is really bad too. I feel like I have a giant bubble in my esophagus! I have never taken any medicine for heartburn in the past, since I didn't have it that much, but I stopped at a gas station yesterday to invest in some Rolaids! I was really worried that the whole chalky thing would make me want to vomit, but I convinced myself that I was just eating candy! This really worked...probably due to my obsession with sweets right now! :) On a good note, they say that if you have a lot of heartburn during pregnancy that your baby will be born with a head full of hair! So bring on the hair, Joey...or should we start calling him Fabio???

Future Joey?

Okay, so my friend Molly, sent me a link to this website where you can make yourself some babies! You upload your photo and the photo of someone you want to make babies with...I obviously used Michael's photo! After you do that, this website gives you a photo of what your future baby may look like. So, if this website is correct, then feast your eyes on the future Joey! hahaha! I really wonder if this is what he'll look like. I also wonder if I use different photos of Michael and me, if our future baby will look different? Hmmm, I may have to try that...

Okay, here are some more future Joey's using different photos of Michael and me! These pics are kind of creeping me out!!! I hope Joey doesn't really look like any of these babies! hahaha!!

And I have no clue what is going on with this photo...Michael, nor I, have ever worn a pirate hat!! I have no idea why this program thinks that we would dress our baby up as a pirate. If we were going to dress Joey up as anything, it would be a garden gnome or a worm. :) heehee

I Gotta Feeling!

Well, I finally have been able to feel Joey move from the outside! Ever since I felt him flipping, punching, kicking, and somersaulting around from the inside (December 19th), I have not been able to feel him move at all from the outside. Everytime, I would place my hand or arm on my stomach, he would stop moving! He's already taking after his mom and dad...being stubborn!

The other day, my belly was half laying on my arm and I felt Joey!! It was pretty cool. It's neat feeling him move around on the inside, but it does feel like you're passing a giant gas bubble a lot of the times, so sometimes it makes you wonder if it's really the baby! However, there's no doubt about him moving when you feel it from the outside...well, I guess it could be severly bad indigestion, but whatever. I was even playing with Joey this morning. He kicked my hand, so I pushed in on my belly, he kicked back, I pushed my belly, he kicked back, and so on. It was awesome. :) My mother-in-law suggested that I place a sheet of paper on my belly to see if it would move since he's so active. That is definitely on my list of to-do's! I was reading in one of my prego books that the baby is the most active during the seventh month! As active as Joey has been this whole time, I can't even imagine what it's going to feel like in a couple of weeks! It's going to feel like a giant dance party in there! Shake it like a salt shaker, Joey!!

This is Joey and me (and Riesling) at 25 weeks and 2 days. My belly is also starting to get pretty hard and thicker. I still have the fat awning/muffin top, but that is slowly starting to dissipate (Thank God!!).

Also, if any of you are looking for a funny quick read, then you should check out Jenny McCarthy's books: Belly Laughs and Baby Laughs. These books are about being pregnant and the first year of motherhood. They are freaking hilarious! I think the reason I got such a good laugh out of reading these books was because I can actually imagine Jenny saying and doing the things she talks about in her books! Jenny also mentions in her book how she and everyone else she knows gained 50 lbs when she was pregnant! This made me feel so much better! If a celebrity who can afford a personal trainer and her own chef gained that much weight, then I'm doing pretty good!

I also wanted to thank all of my blog readers that have commented or emailed me and told me how much weight they have gained during their pregnancies. Most of you seem to have gained about 40-50 lbs! This is wonderful news (to me)! It seems to be more of the norm for women to gain 40-50 lbs, so I wonder why all these damn pregnancy books say you should only gain 25?!?!?! Oh well, keep your comments coming (I have adjusted my blog settings, so you should be able to comment on my posts now) and thank you again for not making me feel like I'm the pregnant girl that just wants to shovel food in her mouth but uses the "I'm pregnant" card as her excuse to eat like crap! :)