The Last Number in One

Well, tomorrow, my little man turns 23 months old.  Only one more month I will officially have a two-year old!  Holy crap.  I must say that I am ready for age three to be here.  We have been experiencing "the terrible twos" for months now and I know it's only going to get worse.  Joey is an overachiever in certain areas of life, and that definitely includes, tantrums, independence, physical assertion.  I'm trying not to wish time away, but boy, toddlers are exhausting and overwhelming.  Especially when you are single parenting for months!  Anyways, enough whining, onto some accomplishments!

Joey is definitely a climber, which has already been proven in the past.  Well, the time has come, and he has climbed out of his crib.  He did it at two separate nap times.  The first one, I went in the room to get him up after he was playing, talking, and crying for about 45 minutes.  When I got to the room door, the light was on.  I didn't leave the light on when I left.  I opened the door, and there sat Joey playing with his train.  He even had a diaper and the wipes sitting there waiting!  He then climbed out two days later.  I decided right then and there, that I didn't need to add a broken bone to our routine, so Joey and I converted the crib to a toddler bed right then.  He has done pretty well with it.  The key is putting him to bed when he is actually tired and ready for sleep.  When I put him down just because the clock says it's nap/bedtime, he gets up and plays.  But if he's really tired, he falls right asleep!  He even waits in the bed until I go in the room to get him up!  I was really nervous how the transition was going to go down, but I really think it helped converting the crib, the familiar, versus giving him a whole new bed setup.  (I do know a lot of friends that have done a whole new bed, and their kids did fine, as well).  Oh, and yes, this does mean we are going to have to get a new crib for little sis, but we're okay with that.  

We've still been meeting up with our little friends to play some, but not as much.  I wanted to give all of the other kiddos a break from Joey's beatings and abuse while we worked on a little more discipline and gentle touches in our home.  Joey does not seem to be hitting as much, but he still has his moments.  Unfortunately, Joey had a pretty high fever over the past month and while at the doc, we found out he had a molar coming in.  I really wonder if that's PART of the reason he was so aggressive and fussy and not sleeping?  I can only imagine how much that sucks to have a molar pushing up through the gums!  Since Joey is not the best with his words just yet, lashing out physically is probably the best form of communication he has right now.  I'm hoping he gets better with his verbal communication before the other teeth come out.    

Speaking of words, Joey's vocabulary has definitely increased dramatically!  He is such a little parrot and can say a good percentage of the words that you say.  He's also starting to use words he hears randomly.  for example, I use the word "easy" when he's being a little too rough with other kids or dogs.  Now, he'll walk around the house saying "Easy.  Easy."  It's actually pretty funny.  He's also really picking up on certain words and when to actually use them.  He can point things out in books, TV, real life and say their names.  It always catches me off-guard when he throws a word out there and uses it in the word's proper context!  Like, when we were at the playground the other day, he was in a tunnel, and he started yelling "Bee, bee!".  I finally went over to check it out, and sure enough, there was a been crawling in the tunnel!  I didn't even know he knew what a bee was!  

Since Joey and I are together 24/7 now, with no breaks, I have decided to put Joey in daycare once a week.  I know I was seriously getting stressed out and overwhelmed with dealing with him all of the time.  Everyone should get a little bit of alone time.  I knew a problem was starting to form when I wasn't letting little things, like tantrums at home or accidents, roll off my back.  I was getting really upset anytime anything, no matter how small or large, was happening.  Joey also seemed to be getting annoyed with me, as well.  This is our second week of him in daycare for 6-7 hours, one day a week, and let me just tell you, it has been AMAZING!  I feel so refreshed after my day off.  I use my day off to go grocery shopping, eat a nice leisurely lunch, run errands (do you realize how many things you can get done without a toddler!!?!?!), clean, whatever!  I also want to take this moment to say that this single parenting stuff is for the birds!  

Joey's fascination with water and being in it has only increased since he has aged.  He now "swims" during his baths.  He wants to physically be in any standing water that he finds.  I think he is going to have a fantastic time this summer swimming everyday! 

Joey does seem to really miss his Daddy.  Michael recorded a few stories and a sweet message for Joey before he left.  Joey has watched these clips tons!  He also has started calling certain guys, "Dada".  He hung out with my cousin, Brian, a lot this past weekend and he called him Dada.  Then while we Skyped with my parents recently, he heard my dad speak but couldn't see him, he yelled "Dada".  Oh, it's so sad when that happens.  I am definitely ready for this little boy to be with his daddy again!  

Other than that, Joey has been changing on a daily basis, and it should be interesting what the next month, and then year brings!  Happy 23rd Month, Joey!

Slugger

So, Joey has totally become uber physical this last week.  He used to be a biter when he was under one, and as he got older,he would occasionally hit people. This last week, he took it up a notch and pretty much hit anyone that came into his personal bubble!  It has been so frustrating.  I mean, he has a reputation as the wrestling kid or rough kid in our Mommy and Me Classes!  UGH!!!  Most of the parents have been completely awesome about Joey's form of communication, but I'm sure that their patience is going to run thin here very shortly. 

Joey's 5 year-old girlfriend, Tahj.  He loves this little lady and calls out her name all day long.  Unfortunately, they are moving  in a few weeks.  We are super bummed to be losing some great neighbors!

I've talked with a bunch of experienced military parents (a few people think that this aggression could be related to Michael's deployment) about this.  Some say that I need to be more consistent and "on it" with time outs.  No warnings, immediately in time out as soon as he hits.  Others suggested spanking or a little pat back.  Also, leave the events/classes as soon as he hits.  After Wednesday (the worst day of his pent up aggression), I felt so very defeated.  He hit so many different kids and myself throughout the day, threw so many tantrums, went into time out several times...it was exhausting and overwhelming.  I was ready to cancel all social events until we got to N.C.!

Joey loves Terryn, one of Tahj's brothers.  He was born right after we got here and Joey loves to visit him.  He likes to pet Terryn's head and say "baby".   He also likes to get up in little man's face and try to give kisses!  

However, Thursday was a new day.  I was going to try some of the new techniques that I had learned and have a new attitude.  It seemed to work.  Before we left the house, we had to deal with the car seat.  This entails Joey fighting me, wrestling with me, pulling my hair, slapping me and me usually ignoring him or sternly telling him "No!".  Today, I tried something different.  When he slapped me, I calmly spanked him.  He was so shocked.  He looked at me, started crying, and said "hurts, hurts".  I said "yes, hurts Joey, hurts Mommy, hurts friends, no hit because it hurts".  I then hugged him and told him I loved him.  Now for anyone reading this that is ready to call child protective services, I have never hit Joey and I don't plan on spanking being used as a normal form of punishment.  However, after months and months of ignoring or telling him "No", I had to do something.  Joey cannot ride in the car unless he's in the car seat.  We cannot avoid the car and just walk everywhere we go...even though that would be pretty sweet.  I am also not going to let him continue to hit me or anyone that tries to put him in the car seat.  Once I hugged him, he was fine.  No more tears and was as happy as a clam chowing down on his goldfish.  The spanking was a hard decision to be made.  I feel like spanking a kid for hitting is kind of hypocritical.  I'm trying to teach him not to hit, but then I'm going to hit him?  Doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I also think that sometimes, as a parent/caregiver, you have to change your tactics if the current ones are not working.  I must say that Joey did not fight me the rest of the day when it was time to get into the car seat.  (Just to clarify one more time, I will not be using spanking/hitting my child as my new form of punishment, it will only be used in extreme circumstances when other forms of punishment have been extensively exhausted). 

Joey's class projects from the month of February.  Yes, I know you all think my son is a genius by the looks of these cutting skills, but I must pop your bubbles and inform you that Joey had A LOT of help from Mommy and his teacher.

When we got to his toddler class, before we entered the room, I got eye-level with him and told him that if he hits anyone we are leaving the class immediately.  I don't know if he understood me, but I figured it was worth a shot.  He did hit one little girl, but that was after she tried taking his toys and she was pretty rough too.  That still doesn't make hitting excusable, but I figured one slip would be okay.  You know what?  He didn't hit one other person or have any other meltdowns the rest of the time!  

Joey getting ready to work on the vacuum cleaner!

And the rest of the day?  Went great.  I also made some adjustments to myself as a Mom.  Since I am with Joey 24/7 and assume I show him enough attention, I don't actually show 100% of my attention sometimes during the day.  I may be on the phone while playing with him.  Making dinner or cleaning up while he's playing.  Watching TV in the background while playing trucks.  I decided to truly devote 100% of my attention to most of our playtime together (I say "most" because it is an unreal expectation for me to never answer the phone, answer the door, make our dinner during the daytime hours).  These new changes seemed to go over very well for both of us.  I don't feel so defeated anymore.  I feel good as a parent again. I guess you need those really crappy days to check yourself and your routine.  You get complacent.  I know  I do...sometimes I feel like I am in a scene from "Groundhog Day".  

Joey trying to unscrew a screw!

So, baby boy, it's not just you that's learning and growing everyday, it's Mommy and Daddy too!  Just know that we will always love you...we may not always like you, but we will always love you!  :) 

Peanut Butter and Jelly!